L.Y.P Service Jewels

Ever think you will never get over a heart break? Well always remember God has orchestrated all circumstances for a reason be patient the lesson will eventually come. Sometimes a break up could mean growing to be the person he has called you to be. Do not give up hope, and while you are at it, you can follow some steps that will help in the healing process. Some time ago my heart stopped and we all ladies have been there. I can't say that I did the perfect thing, or that I am not a work in progress but I thought someday this would come in handy to someone. Keep smiling. Eventually it will all make sense.

- Take him off the pedestal, especially if they were mean to you.

First things first: Stop acting like your ex was God’s gift. If they were why would they leave you as great as you are. Make a list of why you guys are perfect apart, and if you can't find one always think God has his own perfect plan.

Step two for getting over your ex: get closure. If you want to move on, really do it. If you want to get back together, say it, and if it doesn't work in your favor, move on. Sometimes we only need to know that there isn't a chance. Also do not let your pain play tricks with you making you feel this was a the perfect relationship when it wasn't.

Without a girlfriend gobbling up hours out of every day, you may be wondering what to do with yourself. Now that you’re single, we suggest hitting the gym or taking a jog. It’s a healthy way to work out all of that post-breakup frustration. Getting in shape is also a good way to boost your self-esteem. This may seem hard, but don't let your body go. You can stay in contact, but for some this may cause more pain than closure. If you can handle seeing them with someone new then I say you can be friends, if not, then maybe you should rethink the entire thing.

In the end there is no real cure to a break up, but prayer, time, and healing. This is individual, and don't get down on yourself if you can't achieve it all at once. Break-ups are hard.

I love a good blog so I thought it a must that a post a blogger I'm beginning to take notice of Miss Sarah Jakes, T.D Jakes's daughter. This stood out to me because it was all about love, and I love, LOVE. So read on. Posted by Sarah Jakes on Oct 14, 2013

Dear Love,

I thought about you today and my heart ached. I thought about all of the tears I cried on the way to you. I’ve been waiting for the day you would be within reach since I was a little girl. I hurt myself settling for cheap imitations of you. I thought that some of you was better than none of you so I took whatever I could get. I didn’t realize by settling I was training my heart to survive with less than it deserved. Each day I quarreled with the part of me that still wanted more of you. I thought that creating my own happy ending would have to start with having a less than perfect present. I was satisfied chasing an artificial love.

It all looks so easy in the fairy tales.

Two people look beyond one another’s shortcomings and fall in love. Now that I’m older I no longer want someone who can look beyond my flaws. I don’t want to spend a lifetime pretending they don’t exist. My imperfections are as much a part of me as the beautiful things. I just pray you’re brave enough to see beauty in my struggle.

I want to fall in love with your sharp edges. I want my love to kiss the scars that caused you the most pain. I want to hold your hand while we walk down memory lane. I want to know your bitter truth. I know it won’t always be easy, I’m not looking for that. I just want to be with the person that makes the difficult worth it. I can’t say that I’ll be perfect. In fact, I’m so far from it I don’t even want to start something I can’t finish.

When the fear is gone and I feel safe in your arms, I’ll show you my Cinderella slipper. I’ll take your hand and show you the ugly cinder hidden underneath the beautiful gown. I’ll introduce you to the mice that once scared me, but then helped me prepare for you. I could never regret the love I thought I had before you. I’ll tell you about the birds that chirped and brought attention to my truth and shame. I didn’t even realize they were making me stronger for you. I’ll narrate my fairy tale that is far from magical to tell.

My eyes will lock with yours and I will tell you how I’ve waited forever for that moment. I know the day would come when gravity pulled our souls together and forced us to fall. I once believed that love was the foundation and everything else would get better in time. I didn’t realize that better only comes when you have real love.

And real love always begins with self.

One day, when our souls begin their dance, I will tell you how I practiced loving you by loving myself. I wanted so badly to have a love that said, “You’re perfectly imperfect and that’s okay..” so I gave it to myself. I started loving me the way I wanted to be loved. This way anytime someone comes around masquerading as you, I won’t be fooled by the imitation. I fell in love with my crooked smile and fat cheeks. I fell in love with my forehead and the blemishes on my cheek. I fell in love with the lessons from the heartbreak and the memories from the pain. I fell in love with the God who placed air in my lungs and created the rhythm of my heartbeat.

The more I fall in love with me, the more I have for you.

You see, I want to give the kind of love that makes you dig deep. You will swim in the depths of my love and I will dive into your sea… And before His eyes our loves will unite and cast out all fear. I once believed that loving another meant I had to give my heart away. Now I know that loving the right one produces more love. That means I’ll be better because I love you…

Love, like art, becomes more valuable with time. That means you’re worth the frogs I kissed along the way and the tears I cried from the pain. It means love is a masterpiece and your worth the wait. I don’t want the desire to love to ever make me settle for the imitation again. But if I have to lose, it’s worth it if it leads me to you. Until then I’m waiting and loving myself like it were you…

I don’t want to be so consumed with finding love that I abandon the love You have for me. May Your love consume every part of me. Please remove the pain that infected me so I can learn to love every part of me. I want my children, family, and friends to get a piece of You when they get love from me. Help me to love myself the way You love me, so I can love another the way I’ve been loved.

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN : ,p/> If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil says... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts..

By: Oprah Winfrey

Here are 11 RED FLAGS to look out for when dealing with a Social path. Have you ever met one, and just didn't realize it... RED FLAG #1. Having an oversized ego. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) notes that sociopaths have an inflated sense of self. They are narcissists to the extreme, with a huge sense of entitlement, Dr. Seth Meyers, a clinical psychologist with the L.A. County Department of Mental Health, wrote for Psychology Today. They tend to blame others for their own failures. narcissist

RED FLAG #2. Lying and exhibiting manipulative behavior. Sociopaths use deceit and manipulation on a regular basis. Why? "Lying for the sake of lying. Lying just to see whether you can trick people. And sometimes telling larger lies to get larger effects," Dr. Stout told Interview Magazine.

RED FLAG #3. Exhibiting a lack of empathy. “They don’t really have the meaningful emotional inner worlds that most people have and perhaps because of that they can't really imagine or feel the emotional worlds of other people," M. E. Thomas, a diagnosed sociopath and author of Confessions Of A Sociopath, told NPR. "It’s very foreign to them.” 135511334

RED FLAG #4. Showing a lack of remorse or shame. The DSM-V entry on antisocial personality disorder indicates that sociopaths lack remorse, guilt or shame.

RED FLAG #5. Staying eerily calm in scary or dangerous situations. A sociopath might not be anxious following a car accident, for instance, M.E. Thomas said. And experiments have shown that while normal people show fear when they see disturbing images or are threatened with electric shocks, sociopaths tend not to. person car accident

RED FLAG #6. Behaving irresponsibly or with extreme impulsivity. Sociopaths bounce from goal to goal, and act on the spur of the moment, according to the DSM. They can be irresponsible when it comes to their finances and their obligations to other people.

RED FLAG #7. Having few friends. Sociopaths tend not to have friends--not real ones, anyway. "Sociopaths don’t want friends, unless they need them. Or all of their friends are superficially connected with them, friends by association," psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg, author of the Human Magnet Syndrome, told The Huffington Post. nofriends

RED FLAG #8. Being charming--but only superfically. Sociopaths can be very charismatic and friendly -- because they know it will help them get what they want. “They are expert con artists and always have a secret agenda,” Rosenberg said. "People are so amazed when they find that someone is a sociopath because they’re so amazingly effective at blending in. They’re masters of disguise. Their main tool to keep them from being discovered is a creation of an outer personality." As M.E. Thomas described in a post for Psychology Today: "You would like me if you met me. I have the kind of smile that is common among television show characters and rare in real life, perfect in its sparkly teeth dimensions and ability to express pleasant invitation."

RED FLAG #9. Living by the "pleasure principle." "If it feels good and they are able to avoid consequences, they will do it! They live their life in the fast lane -- to the extreme -- seeking stimulation, excitement and pleasure from wherever they can get it," Rosenberg wrote in Human Magnet Syndrome. sexy

RED FLAG #10. Showing disregard for societal norms. They break rules and laws because they don't believe society's rules apply to them, psychiatrist Dr. Dale Archer wrote in a blog on Psychology Today.

RED FLAG #11. Having "intense" eyes. Sociopaths have no problem with maintaining uninterrupted eye contact. "Our failure to look away politely is also perceived as being aggressive or seductive," M.E. Thomas wrote for Psychology Today. stare

RED FLAG #11. Sociopaths have no problem with maintaining uninterrupted eye contact I learned that technique thru childhood and meditation and it's served me very well. Dark souls cannot BEAR an intense stare because they KNOW they are being seen for who they truly are. And, I've out-stared many a sociopath! They weren't as sociopathic as they THOUGHT they were!!

RED FLAG #10. Showing disregard for societal norms. I am a non conformist and live by my own societal rules..some are ok with society and some aren't. If society had its way, all blacks would walk around with averted eyes and bowing to everyone, and cleaning up for everyone. I ain't going for that.

Do you guys think there is a method to the madness of finally becoming his wife. Man, it's definitely a puzzle all women would love to solve, those of us that are waiting for that bended knee, or white lace dress to come on. According to Steven James these are the jewels that must happen prior to that. Do you believe it, or are marriages predestined by God? Author Steven James Dixon, “claims” he knows the 10 ways to go from being just the “girlfriend” to the “WIFE.” Here are his tips:

Be a Woman All Day, Everywhere

Have respect, pride and dignity for yourself. If you let your friends take advantage of you, so will your man. If you come home crying about your job every day without being proactive about getting a new one, your man is not going to find that attractive. Be sexy, sweet, sassy, feminine and most of all, be womanly. Be Independent

Not just financially, but be an independent thinker overall. Take the time to learn you and what works best for you instead of taking someone else’s advice and forcing yourself into a box. Your core person should not change simply because you are in a relationship. Be independent of your man and have your own life. Stay On Your Tippy Toes

Don’t get comfortable and lazy on your man. Don’t just think that he is going to marry you because you have been together for a few years. Get fine-ER, get smart-ER, be bett-ER. A man wants to see growth in you and wants to be excited about who you will be in the future.

Turn His House Into a Home

As a single brother, my crib had the bare necessities. A woman came by one day and slowly started to upgrade my stuff in a very subtle but profound way because no woman had ever done it before. First it was a couple nice decorative candles; then she replaced my pictures and artwork. She helped me paint a couple of rooms in my house. I was like “She knows what she doing, I am going to marry her.”

Be a Godly Woman

There is just something sexy to me about a Godly woman. You want a Godly man, don’t you? The Bible is a relationship handbook. Read it. Follow it. Live by it. When your man is weak, you need to be able to refer to that word. When the Devil attacks, he needs to know that you know God.

Watch His Momma, Do What She Do

You don’t have to be his Momma, but you should try to be in her likeness. Here is an example: during the holidays when you were at your man’s family home, if his grandma, momma and auntie were all in the kitchen and you were in the den watching the game with him, y’all probably had the best time ever, right? But guess what, he’s probably going to break up with you. You should be in that kitchen with his female relatives or else go and find yourself a man whose mother can’t cook.

Challenge Him

If a man doesn’t have to respect you, he won’t. I tell people all the time, if my wife would allow me to have a girlfriend I would, and I go to church every Sunday. A man is not going to do the right thing unless he knows that if he does the wrong thing it will be met with repercussions and consequences.

Be His Biggest Fan

Women need love. Men need their egos stroked. We need your support, your encouragement, and we need to know that you believe in us. Tell him that he is a good man, that you are lucky to have him, that he is special and better than you thought. If he doesn’t feel like a man, he is not going to be a good man to you.

Nurture Him

The art of nurturing a man has been lost. Talk sweet to your man and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Hug him, hold him, squeeze him too. Being a Black man is hard but with the nurturing of a good Black woman, it’s that much easier.


Sometimes we just don't understand why things don't work out, and more importantly why we are left wondering what, why, and how. Most women would probably agree that it's one thing to get dumped but not knowing why is the hardest thing to deal with especially when it's out of nowhere, and maybe we didn't see this coming. Check out a great article I found after doing some research, and realizing not only is this hard for some women, but we deffinately need tactics on dealing. Check it out.

1. Be patient. It is possible that something serious has come up for him. Instead of assuming he's ditched you, give him the benefit of the doubt and wait it out. Be patient and don't contact him. It could be a family emergency, or he could just need a little time to think about his feelings for you. Whatever the reason, it is best to be patient.

2. Distract yourself. The best way to be patient is to distract yourself with something else. Make plans. Fill your calendar. Get all your chores done. Watch movies. Do whatever you need to do to keep your mind from going crazy with wonder and to keep yourself from contacting him.

3. Don't stalk him. Resist every urge to check his Facebook page, his dating profile, his twitter, his website, etc. Don't try contacting his friends. Keep reminding yourself that he is choosing not to pay you any attention, so you should not pay him any attention. Checking up on him will only give you more information to think about, which will make it more difficult to get over him.

4. Don't worry about why. If you haven't heard from him for a few days, you'll probably start wondering why. You'll replay all of your recent conversations, you'll reread your texts and you'll make things up in your head. None of this is productive. If he doesn't have the courtesy to let you know what's going on, you shouldn't concern yourself with it. If something serious has come up, he obviously doesn't want you involved. And if he doesn't want to date you anymore and doesn't want to tell you why, you shouldn't care about the reason.

5. Accept that you've been dumped — by someone who is selfish and rude. If you haven't heard from him in a week, it is probably safe to say you've been dumped. But instead of remembering all that was good about him, remind yourself that it was quite rude of him to disappear. If he didn't feel chemistry, he should have said it. If things seemed to be moving too fast, he should have said it. If he was looking for something different, he should have said it. It is very selfish of him not to consider your feelings. Instead of missing him and wanting him back, recognize that you have now seen a different, very real side of him that is unattractive. Communication is key in relationships. If he can't say what is on his mind, be glad you didn't try to move forward with the relationship.

6. Allow yourself one afternoon to be sad. Sometimes, a girl just needs to cry it out! Give yourself an afternoon to feel the emotions and let them go. Have your little pity party, but keep it short! Then put your big girl pants on and carry on.

7. Respect that he isn't perfect. As upsetting as it is to be on the receiving end, try to understand that he is probably doing the best he can. Not all men have the confidence or communication skills to express what's on their minds. I'm not trying to say this is acceptable behavior; it is definitely not! But it helps to put yourself in his shoes and recognize that he has some growing to do.

Are Christians foregoing their relationship with God to have sex? According to Ebony Magazine some are willing to because of the changing atmosphere of the percentage of African American women getting married before 30 something. Ebony examined the story of Yolanda Johnson who decided to have sex after being celibate for years. Yolanda claims she was dating someone, and horny, but she didn’t feel she was compromising her relationship with God.
Even as they uphold abstinence as ideal, religious leaders can no longer ignore the elephant in the sanctuary. From a newsletter published by pastor Creflo Dollar: “There was a time when … marriage was honored and respected ... and sexual relationships outside of marriage were certainly not accepted as the norm. However, times have changed … values have moved away from the standard of God’s Word because of selfishness.” Last year’s Jumping the Broom, produced by Bishop T.D. Jakes, opened with Paula Patton’s character regretting her decision to have casual sex the night before. The movie portrays her finding true love and deciding with her fiancĂ© to abstain until their wedding day. It was Jakes’ decision to include the morning-after scene, Patton told The Christian Post. “We make mistakes, but the goal is to become better [people].”
Some feel like the Bible clearly states not to have sex outside of marriage, but others feel this is unrealistic. Sophia Nelson, award-winning author of Black Woman Redefined: Dispelling Myths and Discovering Fulfillment in the Age of Michelle Obama (BenBella Books)  cites the finding that more than 50 percent of single, churchgoing women admit to having sex. With U.S. Census data showing that nearly 40 percent of Black women do not marry until age 35 and more than 45 percent of African-Americans older than 14 have never been married, Black Christians face a long road of chastity.  Have people really given up on the idea that this is possible?
According to studies here is what saved saint needs to do to obtain their morale of celibacy. Having open and honest conversations about what is acceptable in the relationship is key. This may seem a bit juvenile but knowing your boundaries. This may not be the path for everyone but lately a lot of couples have been adopting this way of dating as it does redefine relationships, and help to secure more solid foundations that do lead to marriage. Meagan Good married her pastor boyfriend after months of being celibate, and they advocated how enjoyable, and healthy it felt.

Ultimately the decision is yours, and whether you feel giving in to your flesh is redefining your relationship with God.

Check out Tango.com's rules of dating. Do you think there is a rule book to dating or can we just get away with going with the flow. Here are some rules that Tango says you must absolutely follow.
1. Get off the pity train. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Let go of the self-defeating thoughts holding you back. How fun is it to hang out with someone who only puts themselves down? If men aren't interested in you, it probably isn't because you aren't a supermodel, it is probably because they can see how you feel about yourself. Think about how people are drawn to someone with confidence. A person with confidence seems to love life. They don't complain about themselves. It is a much more pleasant experience! If you don't feel confident, fake it until you do. You will probably see a difference in how people interact with you.

2. Never cry about a boy. I mean it. Never cry about a boy! They aren't worth it. Sure, there are some jerks out there. Don't give them your power by allowing yourself to feel bad.
My advice? Get mad. Start standing up for yourself. Don't allow yourself to be treated badly. I believe that we train people how to treat us. If you can work on your assertiveness and confidence, you will find a relationship with someone who respects you. Until then, it will just be the same guy with a different name.

3. Remain a mystery. This especially applies to telling a man how you feel about him. If you have been dating for two weeks and think he might be the one, for the love, don't tell him. Although, if after two weeks you do start fantasizing about marriage and children, we need to talk. Slow yourself down and find a distraction. There is no way you know enough about him that quickly to make a lifelong commitment. If that is where your mind is, you are missing some key data.

4. Only put in a 30% effort. This sounds harsh, but it is true. The feminists are going to hate me on this one, but I think "I am woman, hear me roar" has done us a disservice in the dating department. Think about it in mathematical terms, if you put in 100% effort, how much is left for him to give?
Honestly, when it comes to dating, less is more. The less effort you put in, the more he has to come forward. This becomes diagnostic of how invested he is in you. If he doesn't come forward, run, do not walk. If he is putting so little effort into your dating relationship, what will happen once he gets comfortable?

5. Make him come to you. This is especially true for the first few dates. If you go to his house on the first date instead of him coming to pick you up, I have two words for you: booty call. If he isn't willing to invest the energy to at least come pick you up and have something planned for the evening, just say no. If he asks you to come to him and has no game plan, he is just looking to hook up. A man who genuinely wants to spend time getting to know you will put in the effort. If you are struggling with this concept, go back to rule four.

6. Do not get physical. Remember, men like a challenge. This, however, is not to say that they like a tease. Don't expect, like one unfortunate woman I know, a man to be ok with sleeping over in your bed without having sex. This is kind of a mind game is disrespectful on your part. You cannot expect anyone to be ok with you sending mixed messages.

7. Let go of the outcome. Let's face it, all relationships end at some point. Some relationships are very short-lived because they are not meant to be. This is no indication of your worth as a person. So many women are devastated when a first date does not become a relationship. They think it is because they are not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough or fun enough. They don't even stop to consider whether or not they even like the guy.

8. Never call him unless returning a call. Don't be clingy. I can't emphasize this enough. Men will easily get turned off by a woman who calls or texts too much. It is overwhelming and can end a relationship before it starts. Again, like in rule six, you are a busy woman. You have so many people and activities competing for your time and attention, you don't have time to call him.
Let him call you at least for the first couple of months. Again, this becomes diagnostic of how much energy he wants to invest. After your relationship is more established, call him but still limit how much you do call. He is not a girlfriend with whom you should spend hours on the phone. If he has hours to spend on the phone, he can use the effort to see you.

9. Never return a call or text immediately. Remember, you are busy,
 busy, busy. Don't sit by the phone waiting for a call or text. If this is anxiety provoking, find some other way to spend your time. You can bet he isn't sitting by the phone waiting for you to call. Meanwhile, your life is passing you by. Get out there and live it.

The dating game is defiantly rough. It seems like in this day and age with facebook, twitter, instagram its becoming really hard to get authentic people. Stay focused and know your worth. Let your energy and feelings about having someone in your life coincide. Discern who really means you well, or who just deserves to be deleted.

Here is what EHarmony  had to say about Valentines Day this year if you are single? Are you secretly pouting that you are not involved, don't be. Here is what the experts say you should do. I think I might just do this, if I don't get a Valentine by tomorrow LOL.

1. There no Valentine’s Day awkwardness or pressure. You don’t have to worry about whether or not you should buy him a gift, bring her white roses or red, or what the other person’s expectations for the day are. There’s no pressure to take a young relationship to the next level too soon, nor is there an expectation to reignite a long-lost spark.
2. You have a great excuse to hang out with your single friends. Whether you’re gushing over Valentine’s-appropriate chick flicks together or rebelling with horror films and Chinese takeout, Valentine’s Day can be a great day of bonding. If you’re disappointed to miss out on a candlelit meal, host a semi-formal dinner party that celebrates friendship and singleness. (Being single doesn’t mean you have to go without champagne, either.)
3. Make the day all about you and the things you love. You hate roses but love daisies – so buy yourself some. Stay in and indulge in the guilty pleasures you don’t get enough of: favorite foods, a trashy television show, a bubble bath or a new book. Pamper yourself, guilt-free.
4. You’re going to save money. Valentine’s Day, with its romantic dinners, flowers, gifts and (occasionally) sexy lingerie, can get pricey. Instead, count your financial blessings and buy those chocolates half price on the 15th.
5. You can spend it with your Hollywood crush. Who needs a boyfriend when you’ve got a Leo DiCaprio movie marathon lined up? (Invite friends over who share the same crush and swoon together.)
6. You can roll your eyes at other couples. They won’t even notice.
7. You can escape the fake holiday’s commercialism without disappointing your partner. It’s easy to shrug Valentine’s Day off as a Hallmark-created one – until there’s someone in your life who’s not-so-secretly hoping you’ve made a reservation at the most romantic spot in town.
8. You can celebrate where you’re at right now. You’re not in a bad relationship. The future is open to endless beautiful possibilities. Choose hope, rather than self-pity.
9. You can eat those chocolates in sweatpants, a way more comfortable option than doing so in a cocktail dress. Related: You don’t have to squeeze into a cocktail dress.
10. You won’t get dumped on Valentine’s Day.


1. Try to change your attitude about loneliness and being alone. You should think of your alone time as a time where God, and life is working on you.. flourish in it. Stop thinking you are lonely because they do not want you, when it's time, they will.

2. Start new projects, during my alone time I have furthered my blog business, I have become closer to my faith, I am working on my goals more seriously than ever before in my life. Use that time wisely.

3. Build a network of people that support you whether it be your friends, family, pastor, or anyone that can entertain you, enrich you, and fulfill you during this time that is not negative. Start going out and doing things you enjoy. Meet new people within these networks.

4. Remember that we were all created alone, and we must find happiness in whatever space we are in. Ted D. Stevens quotes:  Total immersion in your own life, whether or not you choose to share that life with another, leads to meaning, fulfillment and harmony for yourself and in all your interactions with others.

Everyone will agree that alone time can be lonely at times, but just think this could be the last time you get to be with yourself because there may be a time you are so immersed in relationship, marriage, or children that will take up that time.



"They Are Just Not That Into You"
Here are the rules from the book "He's Just Not That Into You"

1. Just not that into you if they are not asking you out.
2. Just not that into you if they are not calling you.
3. Just not that into you, if they are not dating you.
4. Just not that into you if they are having sex with someone else.
6. Just not that into you if they only want to see you drunk.
7. Just not that into you if they  don’t want to marry you.
8. Just not that into you if they are breaking up with you.
9. Just not that into you if they disappeared on you.

Of course there are variations to these ideals, but these are as simple as it gets.


1. They never return your phone call right away, try hours later.
2. You have never met their friends.
3. They always busy working!!!
4. You have never been to the crib, not near once.
5. MMM you only see each other at odd times, try 3a.
6. Never once took you out on a date.
7. They can't ever answer the phone in front of you.
8. They don't come to your house.
9. They don't make future plans.
10. You definitely do not have keys.

He's not calling you anymore, should you just think he's just not that into you? Yes.... According to Hellobeautiful, peep what the answers could be...

-The lovely man you gave your number to was probably on the prowl.
 -Has an existing relationship.
 -Has some messy unfinished business on the side.


If you went out on a date with someone and it went really well, should you think they are disinterested if they don't call immediately after?

I've been single for a while now and it seems like there are no prospects where I live, is it really time to move when there are no interesting suitors where you currently live???

Have you ever had a crush on your boyfriend, or girlfriends best friend? How did you handle it? Is it a toxic emotional feeling?

A guy ask you to use your bathroom to do the #2, after a date Mexican food, do you let him in after a month of dating????

Do different women, really bring out different things, in men? How would you feel if your man was abusive to you but got another woman, married her, and is the best man you never had??????

How do you deal with feelings of your significant other moving on after a long relationship???

Do lingering friendships work after a break-up???

Would you date someone just released from prison, surprisely many Black woman are opening their options, but is it wise to open up options to that??

Does celibacy really exist anymore? According to Meagan Good  and her fiance it does. They have not had sex yet, and are waiting till their wedding night. Megan says" We can wait...

Is there a real relationship when someone's baby daddy, or mamma is still living with one another for the sake of the kids? Is this acceptable??? thoughts, comments.  

If your interaction with a new date is texting only is that a sign that it's not going to move any further than that?

How many women really wait 90 days to have sex?

Should woman be breast-feeding in public. Is it ok to breast feed when your child is walking, with full rows of teethe? Are the health and development benefits greater than what society may feel?

Is pleasuring oneself as a woman still taboo, or are women opting for that more than finding a man to fit the bill, and act right????

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